GREENSBORO, NC — Local wives Misty Barnard and Kelsey Martin have become tragically caught in a never-ending loop of thank-you cards.
It all started when Barnard sent Martin a thank-you card for coming to her birthday, while Martin simultaneously sent Barnard a thank-you for inviting her to the birthday. Each felt compelled by the force of thanks to write back, initiating an infinite thank-you loop which has thus far gone on for ten months and counting.
“I see no way out of this,” sighed Barnard’s husband Tom, watching as his wife carefully selected thank-you card number fifteen. “Once the thank-you loop has begun, there seems to be no escape. Like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill, so Misty mails another card, only to be back here again next week.”
Sociologists report that only women can be caught in such infinite loops, as men are incapable of caring. “The male human does not seem to feel compelled to action by the reception of a gift or charitable act,” said Dr. Stanley Marks. “The appreciation is typically shown in the form of a brief word spoken, a nod, or the purchasing of a round of alcoholic beverages. This puts an end to the exchange. Not so with women, where the reception of any gift, no matter how small, necessitates a material act of thanks, creating the ever-present danger of thank-you loops.”
At publishing time, the Barnards and Martins were forced to begin special ordering thank-you cards so as not to commit the mortal sin of sending a repeat card.
Get your husband’s attention!
