WASHINGTON, D.C. — Panic quickly ensued for federal government employee Jared Walker after Elon Musk’s son Lil X came up and asked what, exactly, he does around here.
Walker quickly began sweating and hyperventilating under the withering questions from the four-year-old about the specifics of his employment.
“Oh, crap,” mumbled Walker to himself after hearing the boy’s question. “So, I’m a procurement specialist for the DoD — yes, I understand that doesn’t sound very important, but you gotta hear me out, Little X! I make sure we order enough uniforms and guns and all sorts of important things for the Army guys. That’s really important, right? What are these papers I’m holding? Well, it’s a document I spent the last week typing to explain why the last uniforms we ordered had a stitch color that was the wrong shade of green. Wait, let me explain!”
According to witnesses, Lil X then wandered off to whisper something to his dad, Elon Musk, who nodded approvingly. “This can’t be good,” sighed Walker. “Yes, Little X, I will meet you in your office right away.”
At publishing time, Lil X had sat Walker down in a tiny chair to ask about what he might want to be when he grows up.
Meet Devyn. The 16-year-old Chick-fil-A worker who has replaced the entire government.
