It’s the fourth week of November, which means it’s time for us all to do a little introspection and consider what we are thankful for. The Babylon Bee made full use of its vast political and entertainment connections to ask a dozen prominent public figures what they are thankful for this year. Their answers may surprise you:
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President-elect Donald Trump: “Kamala Harris.”
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Joel Osteen: “Tax-exempt status.”
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Meghan Markle: “Meghan Markle.”
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Mark Cuban: “The ability to delete posts on X.”
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Candace Owens: “Forget what I’m thankful for — what are THEY thankful for? And you know who ‘they’ are.”
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Los Angeles Dodgers: “The New York Yankees’ defense.”
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President Joe Biden: “All those nice smelling feathers on that shapely turkey I just pardoned.”
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Jay Leno: “Advances in emergency medicine.”
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Tim Walz: “A chance to start my career over with the Radio City Rockettes.”
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Chewbacca: “RRRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWHHHHHH!”
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Jordan Peterson: “Tailors willing to sew two halves of different suits together to make one suit.”
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Kamala Harris: “Black Friday sales at Billy’s Wholesale Wine & Liquor.”
The list above just proves that you’re never too famous, successful, powerful, or dementia-ridden to be thankful. What are you thankful for? Sound off in the comments.
Watch as Democrats try to figure out what went wrong this election.
