Dodgers fans roast Michael Conforto after he signs with new team: ‘Toxic ex-girlfriend’

The internet can be a cruel place, but it can also be hilarious.

On Monday afternoon, when the New York Post’s Jon Heyman broke the news that former Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Michael Conforto had signed a one-year minor-league deal with the Chicago Cubs, well, let’s just say the Boys in Blue’s X turned into a late-night comedy club. 

Conforto arrived in Los Angeles last offseason on a one-year, $17 million prove-it contract. He was the Dodgers’ everyday left fielder and was expected to be the missing piece of a lineup that already featured former MVPs Shohei Ohtani, Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts. 

Dodgers’ president of baseball operations, Andrew Friedman’s thinking was simple: put a career 120 OPS+ bat inside Dodger Stadium and let the ballpark do the rest. Instead, the ballpark watched him unravel.

Conforto hit a career-low .199 with just 12 home runs and 36 RBI. He had a .333 slugging percentage that felt like a typo every time it flashed on the scoreboard. By October, he wasn’t just struggling — he was invisible. Benched. Left off the postseason roster. Replaced in left field by Kiké Hernández, who did what Kiké Hernández does in October and helped power the Dodgers to a second straight World Series title.

So when the Cubs offered Conforto a lifeline on Monday, Dodgers fans offered punchlines.

“The Dodgers traded Michael Conforto for Kyle Tucker,” one fan cracked, pointing out the obvious that Tucker was with the Cubs last year and Conforto with the Dodgers. 

“How on earth will we ever move on?” asked one Dodgers fan.

“This legendary Dodger will be missed dearly,” another posted, sarcasm dripping like pine tar in July.

As a Dodger fan, it’s like watching a toxic ex-girlfriend date someone new. God bless both of you.

— AF (@AndrewFonseca19) February 23, 2026

“As a Dodgers fan, this is like watching your toxic ex date someone new. God bless them both,” wrote another.

“Dodgers legend.” “The Dodgers GOAT.”

The hits just kept on coming.

It was brutal. It was creative. It was so Dodgers fans.

For the Cubs, this is a low-risk, high-reward: Counsell, Conforto’s .251/.348/.456 career line, his consistency from 2017-24, the 20-homer season in San Francisco just two years ago. The Cubs believe there’s still a professional hitter buried under the wreckage of 2025.

At 33, Conforto isn’t chasing superstardom; he’s just trying to remain relevant and resurrect his career. 

In Los Angeles, he’ll be remembered mostly as a punchline attached to a championship season he didn’t participate in when it mattered most. In Chicago, he gets a clean slate.

Baseball is funny that way. One city roasts you. Another hands you a bat.

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