Wonder what kind of wine you’d pair with that.
A Canadian widow has written a gripping memoir, in which she details consuming her late husband’s ashes soon after learning he’d had a number of affairs and sought the company of several high-priced escorts.
Mom and essayist Jessica Waite’s husband Sean died in 2015 while on a work trip to Texas.
In “A Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards,” Waite recounts how she opened her porn-addicted husband’s iPad to look up the number for the Houston hospital holding his body, and discovered his damning browsing history.
Waite writes that as she started typing Houston into the browser, it auto-filled with the words “Houston escorts.”
She also found searches for specific escorts as well as their prices and locations.
But this was only the tip of the iceberg.
Waite spent months unraveling her husband’s secret life, and learned he regularly saw escorts and cheated on her with several women.
Waite also learned Sean had lied to her about having to work late on certain nights, and was instead busy downloading hundreds of depraved pornographic videos to his personal computer, which were all organized and categorized into different desktop folders.
She even learned he’d been renting an apartment in Colorado, where he would have sex with escorts and women he’d picked up.
Waite writes in the recently-released book she could not come to terms with the reality of her husband’s secret double life, and slowly, she started losing it.
While mulling the man’s betrayals, Waite described cutting open the bag of his ashes and bringing them to her garden, where she mixed some of them into her dog’s feces.
“I’ve desecrated the remains of my partner in life,” Waite wrote.
“But then, in despair and guilt, took more of his ashes — and actually ate them. The remains feel dry against my fingertips, coarser than baking powder, grainier than salt. They mix with the teary water, a mineral mud on the back of my tongue. I swallow.”
Waite admits that she was “detached from reality in the wake of Sean’s death” in that moment.
Today, Waite has a new man in her life, but thinks daily about the duplicity of the man she was once married to.
“I feel better and stronger than before, but I still cry almost every day, and I still feel like a part of me has died,” Waite wrote.
“Because the part of me that existed within Sean did.”
