The midterms are less than a month away, so it’s important for you to understand who you’re voting for and why. You may think that voting for Republicans is the only way to go, but that’s not the case.
Here are 10 compelling reasons to vote for Democrats in 2026:
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You’re tired of having a country: Countries are so blasé. The future belongs to apocalyptic wastelands.
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You’re so mad about gas prices that you want literally everything else in the world to get worse: It helps take your mind off your empty wallet.
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Not nearly enough mutilated kids the last couple of years: A vote to put the Democrats back in power is a vote for transing more kids everywhere.
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It seems like it’s been forever since we had a good ol’ fashioned impeachment: There’s no party quite like an impeachment party.
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You long for how great things were during the Biden administration: Those were the days.
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You no longer have to love others personally, because you’ve outsourced that to the government: The more the government does, the less you have to do yourself.
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You like it when numbers go up: Crime, taxes, illegal aliens — everything!
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Hard times make hard men: Ruining the country is a 4D chess way of forging a new generation of American heroes.
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Republicans won’t force straight people to bake cakes for the gays: If they won’t, someone else has to.
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As a stupid person, you believe you can only be properly represented by other stupid people: Fair point.
Convinced? Of course you are. Don’t forget to vote early, vote often, and even vote on behalf of your dead relatives. What other benefits are there from electing Democrats? Post them in the comments.
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