PEORIA, IL — Authorities advised all residents to be on high alert heading into the weekend, following a sudden catastrophe that resulted from a local man failing to listen closely even though the menu options had changed.
Calling in to his electrical utility company’s help line, Roger Phillips arrogantly ignored a clear warning about the recently altered menu options. Phillips’ keypad choices quickly went awry, and just 30 minutes later, the power grid to the entire city had been shut down.
“We’ve traced the whole thing back to Roger,” said Mike Makowski, senior executive for the Ameren Illinois utility company. “He simply did not listen, but went about pushing buttons under the false belief that he remembered the prior menu options. Now, there are tens of thousands of people without power, and we honestly aren’t sure what happens next. The full extent of what has been unleashed, we simply do not know. Shame on you, Roger.”
Phillips, realizing his mistake only too late, apologized for his selfish conceit. “I thought I knew the menu options. I was wrong,” said Phillips. “Only now do I see where my pride and haughtiness have led me. I deeply apologize. I will forever rue the day that I did not heed the warning.”
At publishing time, the entire town of Peoria had been consumed by a terrible fireball, all because of Roger Phillips.
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