U.S. — Members of the generation that oversaw putting America $39 trillion in debt gathered in solidarity this week to lecture Gen Z about its reckless financial habits.
Boomers and Gen X Americans scoffed at new college graduates who imprudently spent $9 on a cold brew coffee, preferring instead to add another trillion dollars in debt to keep Social Security checks coming.
“Young people today just don’t understand responsibility,” said 71-year-old retiree Dennis Whitmore. “If you don’t have the money in your account, then you just have to cut back. You can’t keep on spending and expect someone else to take care of it. They’re so entitled. These kids go out and spend all this money they don’t have, not worrying who’s going to be left with all the debt. It’s disgusting.”
Economic experts reported that back in 1966, the national debt amounted to approximately two half-filled sacks of wheat. “Calculating from the current national figure, the older generation of Americans went into debt approximately 1.8 billion dollars per day,” said economics professor Donald Smith. “They have turned the financial state of the country into, as we would say in economic terms, a ‘flaming dumpster of treasury bonds and wishful thinking.'”
According to sources, the Boomers and Gen X were fearful about the financial state of the country. “These idiots spending money on avocado toast are going to ruin the economy,” said Linda Markham, 78. “We’re looking at a generation that thinks money just appears out of nowhere. These kids have no concept of living within their means. I’m worried about what they might do to this nation.”
At publishing time, Congress had approved a $4.2 trillion educational initiative to warn young Americans about the importance of budgeting.
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