PARIS — Panic spread across the city of Paris today after the Atlanta Falcons announced a surprise visit to France.
The nation was caught completely off guard, its people and facilities totally unprepared for the Falcons’ sudden arrival.
“We’re in trouble,” said local man Olivier Richard. “The way they planned this game and made the announcement, it was lightning fast. I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out for long.”
By noon, the government had relocated to Vichy and many Frenchmen had already begin cooperating with the Falcons. Thousands could be seen sporting Falcons jerseys and armbands, with flags going up across the country. Macron has reportedly drafted an offer of surrender.
“I keep telling them we’re just here to play football,” said a Falcons spokesman. “But every time we mention the blitz, another infantry division lays down its arms.”
At publishing time, thousands of British were evacuated from France aboard an improvised fleet of fishing boats after organizers announced the Falcons would also be making a surprise trip to London.
Babylon Bee subscriber David Raphael contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
