TUCSON, AZ — Parents of high school graduate David Simpson helped their son sound out the words on his diploma after the teen expressed frustration at not being able to read the words on the piece of paper.
“Sound it out, sweetie,” David’s mom, Nancy, told her son. “H-I-G-H-S-C-H… yes, it’s ‘high school!’ good job! You’re doing so great.”
Simpson told his friends he thought he’d eventually learn how to read in school, but his teachers mostly focused on how to be more gay and how to overthrow capitalism.
“In English class, my teacher mostly told us about how to protest Trump and what she thought about abortion laws,” he said. “I thought maybe we’d go over phonics at some point, but… nope! Never.”
Simpson’s parents said they were proud of the progress their son has been making, but said they are a little concerned that he can’t read.
“We helped him sound out all the words on his diploma, but we can’t be with him in college, and I worry things are going to get harder for our little illiterate champ.”
At publishing time, Simpson asked his parents to help him sound out the letters on the EXIT sign in the auditorium as he was having trouble leaving the graduation ceremony.
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