Lost amid the controversy swirling around the image he posted to social media depicting him as a religious figure are the truly miraculous signs that have been performed by President Donald Trump. Don’t believe it? They’re well-documented.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of Trump’s top miracles:
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Raising Mitch McConnell from the dead 58 times: And that’s just this year.
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Curing Barron’s dwarfism: Some say he over-cured it, but still.
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Walking on a golf course water hazard at Mar-a-Lago to reach the green: So powerful he has no need for a golf cart.
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Making an old, lame man get up and walk out of the Oval Office: Witnesses said Joe Biden had been crippled for years.
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Turning water into Diet Coke: People who attended Dan Scavino’s wedding were amazed.
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Casting Hillary Clinton out of Washington, D.C.: Word has it she shudders at the mere mention of his name.
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Demolishing the East Wing of the White House to rebuild it in just 1,053 days: Bigger, better, and more beautiful than ever before. Everyone is saying so.
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Steve Bannon was healed of his leprosy by just touching the hem of Trump’s suit jacket: He may not look like it, but he says he’s healed.
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Calming a media storm by saying, “Quiet, Piggie!”: Even the reporters and journalists obey him.
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Getting elected president three times: Or… will it be four?
There’s no telling what amazing feat he will perform next. What are your favorite Trump miracles? Post them in the comments below.
Steve and Timpani’s continued adjustment to all things Texas hits a speed bump when Timpani’s sister, Brittuni, arrives.
