WASHINGTON, D.C. — After seeing carefully negotiated ceasefires between the U.S. and Iran and Israel and Hezbollah fail to bring about lasting peace in the troubled region, President Donald Trump was reportedly shocked to learn that genocidal jihadists often don’t negotiate in good faith.
Despite ongoing efforts by the Trump administration to calm hostilities in the Middle East, radical Islamic extremists stunned the president by failing to follow through on any agreement to suspend their radical Islamic extremist behavior.
“It’s almost like they’re not very trustworthy,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office on Tuesday. “We want to sit down with these people and come to a deal so there will be big, beautiful peace. But every time we agree on something, they turn around and start launching missiles. I don’t understand it. I’m starting to think they don’t really tell the truth, to be honest with you. It’s horrible, actually. I had hoped that the insane, bloodthirsty terrorists would be reasonable people, but it doesn’t appear to be that way. Sad.”
White House sources confirmed that the lack of good faith negotiation had presented an unexpected problem. “It’s hard to agree to peace when one side just lies all the time,” one insider said under the condition of anonymity. “Who would’ve ever guessed that we wouldn’t be able to believe the crazy Muslims who want to murder everyone? It makes it difficult, for sure.”
At publishing time, the White House announced that a new ceasefire had been agreed upon by the U.S and Iran before announcing 10 minutes later that Iran had violated the ceasefire with a barrage of rockets.
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