INDIANAPOLIS, IN — The WNBA announced today it would hold a special “Caitlin Clark Punching Bag Night” during an upcoming Indiana Fever home game. The official promotion was reportedly designed to lean into what league executives called “a beloved on-court tradition.”
A league spokesperson said fans would receive free punching bags featuring Clark’s likeness upon entry. During halftime, selected spectators will compete at center court to see who can most savagely thrash the punching bag the same way players attack Clark.
“The fans have grown accustomed to seeing Caitlin beaten to a pulp in every game,” Fever coach Stephanie White commented. “So we thought they might like joining the fracas in an authentic way and feeling like a real WNBA player.”
“Caitlin has brought a lot of new eyes to the league,” said WNBA president Cathy Engelbert, “and she has distracted those eyes from our courageous black lesbian players onto a white girl whose only claim to fame is being the best player in the league. Now the fans can join the rest of us in venting that frustration.”
Rival players expressed varying levels of enthusiasm. One anonymous opponent told reporters the promotion “will let fans get a feel for what it’s like to be a WNBA player, and experience the excitement of pummeling a player just because she’s white.”
At publishing time, the WNBA was already exploring other merchandise options, including limited-edition giant foam elbows reading “Clobber Clark.”
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