Draymond Green eviscerated by celebs at Kevin Hart roast: ‘Time to retire’

“The Roast of Kevin Hart” on Sunday night somehow turned into the blasting of Draymond Green.

The Warriors star, whose NBA season came to an end just a couple weeks ago via a playoff loss to the Suns, attended Netflix’s special event at the Kia Forum in Los Angeles, and while the evening was supposed to be all about hearing celebrities throw barbs at Kevin Hart, Green sure took a verbal beating.

Tom Brady led off the attack on the polarizing hooper just minutes into the start of the show, right after he got done grilling Hart.

“Draymond Green is here,” the seven-time Super Bowl champion roared to the crowd. “Yeah. Draymond’s here. For now. He’ll probably get thrown out in the next 10 minutes. You know we’re not roasting Steve Kerr, right?”

Green laughed at the quip, but a few minutes later, he found himself in the crosshairs of comedian Shane Gillis.

“Draymond Green is here, give it up for Draymond,” Gillis, the event’s host, said. “Yeah. Sick. F–k him. Boo.

“With a name like Draymond Green, he only had a few options in life: Pro athlete, pimp in a documentary or wealthy cartoon duck.”

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson also made fun of Green’s name, telling him, “Maybe it’s time to retire.” Pete Davidson also lit him up over the Warriors’ loss to Phoenix.

But perhaps the most painful dig came from Jeff Ross, who poked fun at the four-time All-Star’s relationship with Steph Curry.

“Steph Curry couldn’t make it tonight, but he did carry Draymond Green all the way here,” Ross said. “Love you, buddy. I’m not going to make fun of you because you’re violent. You’ve been ejected more times than a Kevin Hart DVD.”

Green, though, did get a chance to dish some jokes back, and one he hit Chelsea Handler with went viral on X.

“I never have, and never will, smash Chelsea Handler,” he said. “I’m Draymond Green. I don’t hit threes.”

It’s been an eventful month already for Green, who was criticized for some on-air sparring he did with Charles Barkley last week, and with the Warriors not slated to begin the 2026-27 campaign for a few more months, it seems the Green offseason headlines might only be just getting started.

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