We’ve all been there, men. You’re waiting in line outside GameStop, minding your own business, when a gorgeous Chinese woman walks up and asks you to dinner. You start dating, but the question lingers — could she actually be a spy?
Here are a few simple signs that your new girlfriend might actually be a Chinese spy:
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She’s a gorgeous Chinese woman who wants to go on a date with you: This is your first clue.
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A babe, a smoking hot babe from the Orient, wants to see you romantically: You don’t have that kind of game. Get it through your head.
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A woman of Chinese descent, who is conventionally beautiful, is expressing some modicum of interest in you: It’s spy or nothing, bud.
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She is female, Chinese, and not ugly, yet wants to go out with a giant dweeb like yourself: Concerning.
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A real-life human being of the opposite sex, who hails from the Far East, and is a total smoke show, claims to be physically attracted to you: Be honest with yourself, bro.
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She is not blind, has seen you, and looks like a supermodel from the continent of Asia: Bad news on the spy front.
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She is a Chinese “10,” and you are whatever number you are: Espionage is literally the only explanation.
If any of these ring true, watch out! The CCP is onto you!
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